I read many novels in those days. But age, new responsibilities and interests have altered my focus. But I cherish the knowledge I acquired from these novels. I remember something I read in one of the novels. A man got paralysed and found himself unexpectedly in a wheelchair. He was naturally downcast and demoralized; life became meaningless. That was when somebody close to him gave him a wakeup call. He told him to stop wallowing in self pity; a man lives not by his ability to run around, but by what he’s got between his temples (his brain).
I never forget that portion of the novel, even though I cannot recall the novel. It helped me to understand life more. For example, why Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who was crippled by polio, will not only rule America, but become one of the greatest American presidents.
FDR, as he was fondly called, also holds the record as the only American president who was elected four times. Also, how Felix Akpe, a physically challenged executive director of UBA in the 80s, rose to that level. I asked my friend, Ese Chris Omosivwe, who was close to the UBA establishment then how Akpe got to the top. He told me, “the man know book ooo, e brain dey hot.” Why am I going down memory lane? I went for a haircut with my youngest son last Saturday. Our usual barber shop was locked. So, we went to another one nearby.
The barber did a great job on my son’s hair and my son, for the first time since he started choosing his hair style, acknowledged that it was a great hair cut. I concurred because it was. All the while, I was staring at the mirror, which gave me a better view. It was when he finished that I turned my attention to him in admiration. I was slightly taken aback when I noticed that it was his left arm that did the great job, not his right arm that I thought I saw in the mirror. Then I noticed his uneven shoulders. That was when I saw his withered right arm. Then it struck me that many of the beggars I encounter on the road are in a better physical condition. Memories of that portion in the novel came flooding back. A man lives by what he has got between his temples: Even Usain Bolt, Lionel Messi and Ronaldo; their brains conjure and their legs execute.
The only snag going there for the haircut was that it cost us N300 extra. By the time the rest of my battalion come on holidays, the extra cost will increase to N1,000 monthly, but that is a small price to pay for a better haircut and more important, getting to know the young man better. Consequently, I am porting from my old barber to my new found hero.
I intend to know him much better and if he gives me the opportunity, I will be part of his life and vice versa. The experience also helped to reduce my guilty conscience. As a habit, I do not give beggars money on the road. I think many of them are either physically or/and mentally lazy and only take advantage of the benevolence of road users. I also distinguish between charity and frittering away of money.
I feel when you give beggars money on the road, you are frittering away money, but when you contribute to see an intelligent indigent student through school, or you help a poor widow start a business; that is charity. Consequently, I ignore most beggars who accost me on the road. Once in a while my conscience pricks me and I give them money. Other times, I give out of pity. The last beggar I did that for was a young man who said he just needed a little money to buy puff puff at a nearby shop. To ensure he did not divert my money to buy alcohol or hard drugs, I told him to go ahead of me to the shop. By the time I got there, he had taken eggroll, sausage and meat pie, in addition to the puff puff, and of course a bottle of coke to wash everything down.
I ended up spending N700 for a project I had budgeted N200 for. A few days later he was back, but like I do to all persistent beggars, I shut down. When it comes to beggars, persistence does not work with me. But what the stories of Roosevelt, Akpe and my new barber tell us is what these brothers and sisters have always said: we are not disabled, we are only physically challenged. There is only one form of disability: Mental Disability. It has many variants: laziness, negativity, defeatist attitude, lack of focus and ignorance, anything that can hold you down and prevent you from achieving your dreams and realizing your enormous potentials. This sets the agenda for both parents and the outer society: create an environment where people with special needs can strive.
That is what all benevolent societies do. It starts from the home where children with special needs are brought up with love and self worth. Then the larger society takes a cue by building physical infrastructure, public buildings, systems and processes that are user friendly to the physically challenged. Our society must learn to treat them with love and dignity, not making them targets of jokes of comedians. That is a comedic blunder. Abroad, the physically challenged have no business remembering their challenges. They move about easily; provision is made for them in car parks and public transportation (buses and trains). They have automated wheelchairs and special vehicles to move around faster and comfortably.
The physically challenged should remind us all where we can easily end up either through accident, illness or old age, we must therefore be careful how we view and treat them. They do not need pity; they only need understanding, love and dignified treatment. Then like the rest of mankind, the
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