Relationship Tips: How to deal with a possessive partner

Every relationship is healthy with a bit of possessiveness, you know that feeling that someone loves and desires you makes you feel like a king or queen in your little world.

But it becomes sickening when it becomes too much like your partner wants to know your whereabouts every second of the day, who you speak or relate with and makes you feel controlled.

Over possessiveness could be as a result of insecurity and low –self -esteem sometimes due to past relationships or childhood experiences when one parent had an extra marital affair. Today we will discuss ways to manage this situation, they are:

1. Communication: Communicating your feelings to your partner is a good way to solve this problem. Express the fact that you are not running away from the relationship and he or she needs to trust you enough to make right decisions when he or she is away from you. Sometimes a simple “I love you “ or a simple compliment about what you love about your partner and be specific about it can do the magic
2. Express what you do not like in the Relationship: This is  still part of communicating, you should begin with examples of specific instances when you felt he was being possessive for example, “when you call me multiple times a day when I am with friends , I feel like you do not trust me “or when you act coldly when I talk about my female friends “. I do not like the fact that you snoop through my handset, it shows you do not trust me “ or require explanation for every movement. When you are having this conversation be calm do not go with the judgemental approach and don’t make the mistake of calling him or her possessive as this can result in an argument.
3. Involve your partner in activities with your friends: Sometimes all a possessive partner needs are simple public display of affection .When you involve your partner in activities with your friends like a hangout and make him or her feel among and not left out. It reduces the tension and makes him or her know you love them enough to show them off.
4.  Give the relationship time to heal: After expressing your thoughts and feelings it is time to give your partner a chance to change. Keep in mind that he or she cannot change overnight it is a gradual process.

Finally, in a relationship you have to keep in mind that both of you are a team and so it is a collective effort to move the relationship forward. Always correct your partner and compliment him or her when he or she is making progress about not being over possessive.

The failure of every relationship is when one partner gives up easily on the other. I will like to see your comments and question in the box below.